Talking with people and listening to their inner thoughts has revealed to me how we each carry around with us some amount of inner conflict. And if we don’t find ways to resolve these conflicts, they grow. What’s worse, we turn to false comforts such as overeating, overbuying, addictions….anything to give us the distraction we crave from facing hard questions such as:
- Do I want to stay in this relationship or leave?
- Is this job engaging me at my best potential or should I be looking around?
- Do I return to school or relax and enjoy the journey?
- Do I want to grow my business or go in a different direction?
- How will this decision impact my quality of life?
- Is this something I value enough to volunteer my time?
- How did I get sucked into this commitment?
- Am I missing it with my teenager?
- How do I love my spouse better?
- Why am I struggling with contentment?
- What do I want to say to my friend that I can’t seem to find the courage to say?
- How come I can’t keep up with my life?
- How do I slow things down? Should I?
- What’s next?
- What do I really want?
For those of us who I call, “Beautifully Complex”…we may even ask all these questions and more within the span of a day…and for those of us who are also “Beautifully Complex Overachievers”…we actually try and answer them.
No wonder we find ourselves utterly exhausted by the end of the day.
Might I offer a kind suggestion?
Take a load off and pop your feet up. 🙂
Here’s the Clarity Process I believe in:
- REST
- BELIEFS
- FAITH
- ACTION
Step into REST to find the clarity you need. This might involve a walk in nature, listening to music, coloring, engaging your right brain in something that allows your critical/logical/analytical left brain to take a break.
And as you rest, new BELIEFS will gently emerge…honor them. Choose the beliefs you want to keep…and toss those you don’t.
Engage your choice of FAITH.
THEN….and only then….are we ready to ACT.
Here’s a personal example for me:
INNER CONFLICT – I felt stressed about preparing for a 3-hour workshop and began wondering why I had volunteered. (I know when I push myself to ‘produce’ it takes so much more work…all authenticity and kindness flees and it is honestly a miserable experience. It’s not worth it to me anymore…especially since I have found a kinder way.)
Sooo….I did what I teach…(I have other examples where I ignore what I teach, but let’s save that for another conversation):
- REST – Took 30 minutes to listen to some of my favorite songs while I drew/doodled and selected phrases or words I liked.
- BELIEFS – Checked my beliefs…and remembered that this is what I love to do…and tossed the belief that I have to push hard to be successful.
- FAITH – I chose to trust that the answers would come if I am kind to myself and stopped pushing.
- ACTION – Within 10 minutes I had my outline for a 3-hour workshop that turned out to be exactly what I wanted (the workshop turned out great too).
I have plenty of other disasters where I did not rest…check my beliefs….or choose my faith…and my action steps were “off” at best and “destructive” at worst. Happy to share with you if you really want to know…just ask. But for now, I’ll leave you with a positive thought…
Take the time to care for your heart….and your head will come up with amazing action steps.
My heart (& head) is with you and for you,
Heather
