Combatting the Illusion of “Can’t”
These past few weeks we’ve been talking about courage – what grows it, what engages it. But what about the things that wither and disengage our courage? I “can’t” leave the topic of courage without addressing something that is a sure-fire courage blocker. In my experience – personally and with clients – there are seven forces that create a negative invisible pull. I call these Can’t Magnets. They are…
- Cynicism
- Control
- Closed-mindedness
- Cold-heartedness
- Complaining
- Condemning
- Criticizing
Have you ever worked in an office or on a team that had one person who consistently pulled the group down? Or had a sarcastic comment for any new ideas? Maybe at the office, they’re the one who is the first to remark: “None of these leadership tools are worth learning or applying.” Or the guy who notoriously comments in meetings something to the effect of, “This place can’t get it right.” If you’re nodding your head, then you know how people like this can easily influence a group and before you know it, people are grumbling, unsatisfied, and morale plummets.
You can probably guess what the source of these negative attributes is. If you said “fear,” you’re spot on. Fear shows up in a variety of ways. Fear of failing, fear of disappointing someone, fear of not getting it right.
Now let’s dig a little deeper. How does fear show itself in our day-to-day lives? When fear pulls on our courage, we have an overwhelming sense that we can’t do something—or we can’t be who we need to be in that moment. “Can’t” makes us unable to take risks. But to live the life we are made for, we’re going to need to risk failure and be ready to get back up again, probably a number of times. This takes a boatload of courage.
Join me on this week’s podcast (Click Here) as I talk about these Can’t Magnets and how to combat them by pulling the other way. The truth is, resisting the desire to join in with the negative influencers can have a profound effect on you, on your team or family, and even on the world as a whole.
The world could use a few (ahem, a lot!) more people who resist the pull to go negative and, instead, hold on to hope that we can be bold with our courage and respond in a better way, with grace–at home, at work, and globally. Hope may be the most powerful weapon we have.
Resist the pull, my friends. It matters.
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