Most of us know how to function like great leaders—showing up, performing well, hitting goals, and leading teams to success. But somewhere along the way, it’s easy to lose touch with the person behind all that performance. We can build thriving organizations and still quietly watch our inner world—and the relationships that matter most—slip to the bottom of the list.
This is often where I meet people – at the crossroads of performance and peace. On the outside, everything may look successful. But internally, we are exhausted, disconnected, and questioning how we got here. And if we’re honest with ourselves, we know deep down that no amount of success can compensate for being out of sync with our authentic selves.
Many high achievers grow up believing their role is to perform and not fail. It works for a while—until it doesn’t. Like many mission-driven leaders, we can justify long hours and constant output by telling ourselves, “It matters.” But beneath that drive, we develop unhealthy coping strategies that leave us feeling empty in the midst of a wildly successful life.
Many of us have a wake-up call—we fail hard, someone speaks the truth to us, or we are falling over from exhaustion, knowing that our choices are not sustainable in the long term. Something has to give.
And this is where we begin the work of realignment.
Rebuilding requires humility, time, and new rhythms. We have to replace old patterns with intentional rituals—moments that ground us in what matters most. It may be morning workouts, journaling, prayer, and RESTorative rest days that become our new “strategy.”
We stop asking, “What do I have to do?” and begin asking, “What do I actually need?”
What some might call a midlife crisis, we can reframe as a midlife recalibration or a midlife opportunity. It’s that season when life invites us to look at what’s truly working and what’s quietly breaking down. It is about moving from avoiding yourself to embracing yourself—putting your inner and outer worlds back in alignment. It’s not about perfection or performance; it’s about integrity and peace.
And in the work I do, it is a gift when things stop working. Because that’s often where self-leadership begins—when we stop running and start listening. And it’s what breakthrough requires, so we can level up in our lives. When we give ourselves permission to rest, reflect, and re-center, this makes all the difference.
If you find yourself performing well but feeling empty, take a pause. Because true leadership isn’t about doing more—it’s about becoming more aligned with who you truly are. It’s about leading from your sacred center, where clarity, confidence, and courage already live.
And if you’re ready to take the next step in that journey, check out my book, The Life You’re Made For. It’s designed to be read slowly and reflectively—with practices that help you release old patterns and create new rhythms that align with who you truly are. The Life You’re Made For Coaching Companion that goes along with it offers additional guidance and tools to support your growth as you rediscover your authentic self and the life you were made to live.