Let’s talk about adult friendships.
Not the ones from college or the ones based around school drop-offs and Saturday sports— but the ones we long for now. The ones with depth. The ones that still feel possible even when life gets complicated.
Recently, I sat down with my friend, Kelley Gray for a heartfelt podcast conversation about how friendships change over time—and how we can navigate those shifts with honesty and courage.
We talked about what it’s like when friendships feel stale or revolve entirely around kids. What happens when our kids leave home and we’re left asking, “Who are my people now?”
Or what about the realization that you want something different—perhaps with more spiritual depth or challenging life questions? It can be hard to admit you’re lonely. Vulnerable to reach out and start something new. But it is in being vulnerable—learning to ask for what we need—that deepens our relationships.
Maybe it’s something as simple as asking for a coffee date to get to know one another better, or maybe it goes a little deeper where you are struggling and make a simple request, “Can someone just come to sit with me so I don’t feel so alone?”
That’s it. No pressure. Just presence.
So, why is this so hard?
Maybe you’ve felt it too—the insecurity, the fear of reaching out, the awkward “first friend date.” But realizing what you’re going through always makes a difference so you can figure out what to invite people into.
Grappling with adult friendships means recognizing many factors such as:
- The seasons when friendship comes naturally—and the ones when it doesn’t.
- Why it’s okay to “shop” for friends in adulthood.
- What to do when grief or crisis shifts your circle.
- And the importance of speaking plainly about what you need.
And when we’re honest about it, we realize that others are often dealing with similar things. Everyone at some point has felt these vulnerable emotions:
“I don’t know why this friendship feels off, and I don’t know how to fix it.”
“I want to be invited, but I’m scared I won’t be picked.”
“What if I disappoint and don’t measure up?”
Here’s what’s important to remember:
- You’re not too much for wanting deeper connections.
- You’re not alone if you feel unsure about where to start.
- You’re allowed to say what you need.
Whether you’re in a season of loneliness or abundance, the truth is that we’re all wired for connection. And we all have the ability to build the kinds of friendships that don’t just survive—but nourish.
So, as you join us for It’s All About Relationships podcast series, maybe reflect on the following:
- What season are you in with friendship?
- Where are you craving more connection?
- What’s helped you move forward—or what’s held you back?
Cheering you on!